Catching up on Christmas

For the first time in 3 years we were able to go home to my parents house for Christmas.  It was fun to get to see family and spend some time with my parents.  Mom and Dad had a great time giggling with Caleb.  We of course loved watching him get fussed over and spoiled.

My parents have a cabin on 10 acres of land in the Lincoln National Forest and that is where we have always gotten our Christmas trees from.  Needless to say our trees have never looked like those at the tree lot.  When I was little mom decided that she wanted to be able to have Blue Spruce Christmas trees like she had when she was growing up.  Well Blue Spruce don't grow native in Southern New Mexico, so she got saplings from the Forest Service and we planted them all over the mountain.  This of course means that for the next few summers we spent lots of time hauling buckets and hoses all over the mountain.  After about 10 years mom was finally able to harvest her first blue spruce Christmas Tree.  Mom has always been a fanatic about Christmas. Multiple Christmas trees, nativities on every flat surface, and lights and garland galore.  This year mom's Christmas tree was a long needle pine, with flocking and white lights on it.  She had placed cardinal ornaments all over it.  It turned out really pretty and artistic.

Think before you Tweet.

This isn’t going to be your typical update on my adorable little boy, so if that is what you are looking for feel free to skip this post.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Most days I just revel in the fun of being a mom to an adorable baby, eating up his smiles, giggles, and snuggles.  Every once in a while, though, a situation arises that makes me realize what a huge responsibility my husband and I have taken on by bringing this little boy into the world.  It will be our responsibility to teach Caleb literally everything he needs to know to interact successfully with the world, from tying his shoes, to proper hygiene, to polite table manners.  Fortunately for him and us he will learn a little bit at time and we will learn how to teach him a little bit at a time.

I would be lying if I said this world doesn’t scare me sometimes and there are issues and situations my little guy will face that weren’t a big a problem when I was a kid. 

One that has been rattling around my brain for the past week or so is bullying, and not the “Your ugly and your mother dresses you funny” kind of bullying.  Trust me I don’t have on a pair of rose-colored glasses when it comes to bullying and maintain that it never happened to me.  I am sure I was mean to other children when I was young, and I can remember being called names and crying at home from time to time.  There is a difference between then and now, when I was young I could run home, stay inside at recess, or hang around the teacher on the playground and thereby get away from the mean kids.  It isn’t that easy in this increasingly digital age for children and adults to get away from the words of those who seek to tear them down.

I had a reaction to an acquaintances Facebook post this last week that surprised me.  This person had made a comment about a recent Esquire interview and photo spread done by Megan Fox.  In the article Megan Fox made the following comment concerning fame and bullying,

"I don't think people understand. They all think we should shut up and stop complaining because you live in a big house or you drive a Bentley. So your life must be so great. What people don't realize is that fame, whatever your worst experience in high school, when you were being bullied by those ten kids in high school, fame is that, but on a global scale, where you're being bullied by millions of people constantly." 

It wasn’t the quote that got to me it was the extremely derogatory comments by this individual and their friends, concerning the type of person Ms. Fox must be.  This seemed to me to essentially underscore the validity of her words. Now I don’t know much about Megan Fox, and I am not trying to defend her, her words or her actions.  But the situation gave me pause. When I made the following comment on this Facebook thread, I was essentially told she is in the public eye therefore she is fair game.

"Regardless of what you may think of her as a person or actress. Regardless of how silly her statements about the perils of being a sex symbol seem when paired with the photos in the article. Your comments just validated her point on bullying. How would you feel if your sister or daughter were the target of such comments by someone who didn't know her personally? Just because it is the Internet and they are a celebrity doesn't excuse the comments. No matter how vapid or hypocritical the target may come across."

In this increasingly interconnected yet disconnected world this attitude of “Those who are in the public eye, can’t complain about what others say about them” really bothered and scared me.  We try to convince ourselves that what we say on Facebook, Twitter, etc. doesn’t matter. Yet when some kids back east post on Facebook that if they can get 1 million likes their parents will let them get a puppy and they accomplish that in less than a week, that undercuts the assumption that the things we say don’t and can’t get back to those we say them about. 

I am not writing this to say be nice to the poor picked on celebrities, I am writing this to say that you should never post, text, or tweet something you wouldn’t be willing to say to that person face to face.  So if it is okay to take personal shots at those who are famous where do we draw the line, if someone is only famous within your community, or within your school, or your church, is it still all right to be mean, after all they are a public figure shouldn’t they expect that.

“Hate people on an individual basis only - you must actually get to know someone at least slightly before you can properly hate him or her.”

― Jill Conner Browne, The Sweet Potato Queens' Book Of Love

The endpoint of this whole thought process is how am I going to teach my son to be nice when meanness, snarkiness, and bullying are used for entertainment in media.  Read any best and worst dressed article and the comments are truly cutting, written to be funny but definitely not intended to build up the subject of those comments.  Numerous movies use bullying to forward the plot, either to show how far the main character has come or to prove that those who are mean usually get their just desserts.  I hate those parts of movies and frequently fast forward through those sections.  It is an older movie but in Never Been Kissed they show a flashback in which the character Drew Barrymore plays is being humiliated in high school.  I know it is fiction, but it hurts me so I fast forward through it.  But for people who are being bullied, made fun of, or humiliated they don’t have that privilege of fast forwarding through that period of their lives, and in this digital age it can be everywhere.

Just think about your words are they intended to build up or tear down, because tearing someone down will never build you up.

Before you speak (post, text, tweet), Think!

T – is it True?

H – is it Helpful?

I – is it Inspiring?

N – is it Necessary?

K – is it Kind?

I am not saying that I am perfect in this regard, I am just trying each day to be a little better and maybe bring a little light and insight to my part of the world.

4 Months

They might be a little fuzzy but I think I have one of the best photo subjects ever.  I can't believe Caleb has only been a part of our lives for 4 months.  He is such a joy to have around.  My favorite days of the week are Saturday and Sunday because I get to spend the entire day with my handsome little boy.  It is hard for me to get pictures of him smiling because he gets confused by the camera, so it was exciting that I got a couple this time.  Caleb's smiles warm my heart especially when I am waking him up in the morning it makes it not quite so hard to take him to the babysitter.  He forgives me so quickly when I have made him wait just a little too long for a bottle.  I tell everyone that Caleb is a champion smiler and sleeper.  He loves to smile at everyone, especially if they will take a little time to talk to him. He sleeps through the night, which is such a blessing.  I really believe I won the baby lottery, he definitely has his cranky moments but on the whole it a smiling bundle of happy baby.

There have definitely been changes since Caleb joined the family.  It takes longer to get out the door, and I eat cold meals sometimes because dinner is ready just about the time he is hungry.  The biggest change though has been how soft my heart has become where children are concerned.  I tear up at news stories about babies who have been hurt or neglected, I get choked up telling Brad about a heart warming story I saw on facebook.

I don't know who this little boy is going to grow up to be, but I feel blessed that Heavenly Father has entrusted him to my care.  I can only hope I do a good job (cue the tears).

Putting up Christmas lights.

Because of my significantly less demanding work schedule this holiday season I was actually around to help Brad put up the Christmas lights, so we turned it into a family affair.  I don't know how much help we actually were but Caleb and I were there for the whole process.  Caleb wore his bear suit for the first time, don't know if he liked it but he sure looked cute.  You can tell by the t shirt Brad is wearing that the weather Thanksgiving weekend was really nice.  We probably didn't need to worry about Caleb being too cold but we will attribute it to new mom syndrome.  Brad did most of the scampering up and down the ladder I mostly untangled lights, handed him light clips, entertained Caleb, and took pictures.  Needless to say I think I got the better end of the deal, but at the end of the day the lights were up and no one fell off the roof or the ladder.

Caleb's new trick

Bet you can't guess what my little boy is learning to do.  Needless to say the binkie isn't nearly as interesting as it used to be.  My little boy has discovered his thumb, sigh.  Other than that isn't he the cutest thing ever with his little crinkled ear.  He has been talking to us all day long.  Brad just informed me that he sucked his thumb as a child so I am blaming this development on him.

Like Father Like Son

Brad is happy to report that at only 16 weeks old Caleb is already a complete football fan.  I try telling Brad that Caleb just likes to watch the moving colors on the TV but he is adamant that Caleb makes comments at the right times and loses interests during the commercials.  Who am I to argue with a proud father.  Regardless of what the exact situation is I get a kick out of watching my boys watch football.

Now, in case you were wondering who we cheer for at our house, check out the football jersey my mom found in the basement and sent to us.  Brad commented that my mom is a very smart and discerning lady.

Food for thought

I don't know who people voted for in the recent presidential election, and don't care.  I do know that there are quite a few people that were disappointed by the outcome, for a variety of reasons.  I also know that I am many of my friends are getting worried about raising our children in a world that feels like it is going farther and farther away from  the values we believe in.  Because of this I am reposting what a friend of mine wrote on her blog the morning after the elections.  I am looking at this more from a whole life and world perspective and less of an election won or lost perspective, but it was a nice reminder when it is so easy to get caught up in the ups and downs of life.

This is for all of my wonderful friends who are having a rough day today after last night's kick in the gut. After climbing out of my funk, re-evaluating and re-committing all morning I had a thought. I would like to share it with you all and I hope you will take it to heart.
On Saturdays KBYU used to replay BYU football games from time to time. The great thing about this is that they would ...only replay games where BYU won. This was a fantastic thing because you never had to get upset, never had to yell at the refs, never any heartbreaking final scores. You KNEW who was going to win in the end. It didn’t matter if BYU was down by 2 touchdowns with 3 minutes left in the 4th quarter. There was ALWAYS a comeback. Our team ALWAYS won. You could relax and enjoy the game. Such is life. We are in the 4th quarter. Just got a big kick in the gut. We may feel as if we are behind by a couple of touchdowns. But you know what? The results of this game are already in. It was played in the beginning of time. We KNOW who is going to win. It has been written thousands of years ago by the One who started the game in the first place. God and His righteous followers WILL win at the last day. Those who stand for truth and righteousness will win. The game is not over yet and some people may even switch teams. But the outcome will remain the same. We know the final score so there is no need to yell at the refs, or eat a bottle of TUMS, or curse the opposing side. Regardless of what happens, we know the final score. The righteous will win. “Be still, and know that I am God”. – Psalms 46:10
I say, bring on this 4th quarter. My family is ready. It is easy to fight when you know you’ve already won. PRESS FORWARD SAINTS

 

I am grateful to live in a country where I can vote for my local and national leaders, and while I may complain about policy I don't agree with I will always respect the office they have been elected to and the fact that the people of this nation elected them.  If there is something in the world you don't like or would like to change I like the words of Ghandi "You must be the change you want to see in the world."  If you want to see kindness, be kind.  If you want to see love, be loving.  If you want to see respect for differences, respect those differences.  The list goes on and on.  There just a few words to think about.